Do u guys know the feelin from heaven to hell? I do.

Do u guys ever try to damn regret for what u've done but cant be fixed forever? I do.

Do u guys experience what should be had in one life but now in one year? I do.

 

What the fuck I've experienced????? oh shit!!! bull shit!!! I hate myself, i am the hater!!!

one night, he proposed to me kneed in front of hundreds of people including his 17-year friend and co-workers. I felt like into the heaven!!!! We opened 8 bottles of champaign to cheer for it!!! I did think we could step into a new world.

the next day, we fuckin broke up...like drama. nothing i could explain. it was totally my fault! WHAT sucks I am! I hurted him badly, i could read his hate and depressingness and sadness and...much much much... how ironic that is? coz until that time, i had relized the he loved me to that much! i didnt trust him before, though he confessed that he'd cheated on me many times. But compared with mine, his faluts were nothing at all. Maybe I would be accused of weakness, I LOVE HIM, DAMN LOVE, to what i even dont know.

 

I really dont know how to stand up to face future. I am a positive gal but cant be always, still a gal...

we finished, we r over. I cant even forgive myself, how could i expect him to forgive me??? yes, I cant forgive myself, cant...cant forever...

 

ANDREW C. BALLEN.

yOU steped into my world, and u chased on me for three months, and u made me love u and u messed my life up and also u ruined my peaceful life.

BUT ME

I ruined our relationship, our future and even your self-respect...

 

很久没有更新了，不知道自己是没有时间还是懒得再去写这些所谓的心情故事了呢？不得而知~

anyway，现在既然想写了那就写吧...

这两个月贯彻着空间不对外开放，一个月只有一天，且为不定期开放，引来非议。在这里先说声抱歉，其实我msn上面都是我很好很好的朋友，所以没有什么不能让大家看，只是希望可以给自己个借口，在这里畅所欲言。

 

和他的事情算是告一段落了，纠缠了快一年，我也累了。最后始终还是能够放下，有什么事情还是我做不到不能面对的呢？也没有可惜，只是比较气自己，一开始就知道他是什么样的人，根本不合适，没有坚持住，追了两个月最后还是妥协了，女人啊~你的名字是弱者！

不过话也说回来，我最后和他说的一句是：“hey XX, remember U R A BUSINESS MAN, promise is promise, so dont break ur promise again and again." 最终还是看清了事实，他是一个季度自私的人，我只是个attachment，让他用来证明自己的attachment.

leave it, coz he doesnt deserve it.

 

开学了，生活节奏也开始加快了，开始找工作...认真地找工作，认真地计划将来，不过事实真的是我想要认真就能够做得到么？我保留...

不过只要我保持原有的心理状态来面对即将要发生的一切，那我想什么问题都不算问题。

知足者长乐，也是我的生活态度，所以就算现在再怎么不开心，我都会笑着面对生活，面对朋友的。

 

好了，今天写到这里了，我被msn炸了...happy day to everyone!!! Dianna always loves u all!!!